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22. Mayor Denies Hit-and-Run Charge The mayor of Sacrapinto, J.K. Choi, 35, was charged with hit-and-run driving last night by the town sheriff. A freshly killed calf was discovered lying in the middle of Arlington Drive at about 10:00 p.m. A witness, 20-year-old Emily Parker, said she saw the car hit the calf and keep…

21. City Welcomes New Store and Its Owners The city of Armada opened its arms to a new business on Huntington Drive at First Street. The store, called Turtle Dove, is a pet shop specializing in two kinds of animals. The owners are two brothers, Bill and Bob Pidgin. They moved here from the northern…

20. A Murder-Suicide A man and a woman died in an apparent murder-suicide last night in Altadena. The man was 74-year-old Dominic Vittorio. The woman was his 70-year-old wife, Victoria. The couple had been married for 50 years. In fact, their 50th anniversary occurred just a month ago, according to their next-door neighbor, Mrs. Allen.…

19. Books Don’t Grow on Trees A local community college professor decided to fight back. “The price of books for our students is just getting higher and higher and, combined with the rising cost of tuition, it’s killing these kids,” said Peter Jason, Ph.D. “Remember, students are one of the poorest groups of people in…

18. $100 Deposit The well-dressed, gray-haired woman was crying her eyes out. She had just been fined $100 by the judge because a month ago her dog made a mess on the front lawn of the courthouse. “I just got out of the cab and I leashed Poopsie to the light pole. After I paid…

17. Hotel Says Goodbye to Clean Couple Theodore, the manager of the Paradise Hotel, told a middle-aged couple that they would have to leave the hotel after just one night. The couple, visiting from Texas, had booked a room for eight nights. “They wanted a sterile environment,” Theodore said. “They should have rented a room…

16. Eggs and a Bunny Easter Sunday was a cloudy but festive day in Memorial Park for about 100 kids from local orphanages. An Easter egg hunt started at 10 a.m. when a fire engine blasted its horn. Boys and girls, ranging in age from 2 to 6, dashed throughout the park, yelling and screaming,…

15. Theft Occurs Everywhere An elderly woman told the police that, as she entered a restroom, she was jostled by a woman behind her. A few minutes later, as she was about to pay for a moustache remover at a nearby store, she discovered that her wallet was missing from her purse. Apparently the woman…

14. Water Under the Sink Ed came home from his errands and put the groceries into the cupboard and the refrigerator. He grabbed a flathead screwdriver and a pair of pliers from his toolbox. In the kitchen, he got down on his hands and knees and turned on the flashlight. After a couple of minutes…

13. Water Under the Sink The 36-year-old bachelor ate his usual lunch at home. He had an apple, a ham sandwich with a sliced dill pickle, a bowl of chicken noodle soup with a couple of soda crackers, and a small candy bar, all washed down with an eight-ounce glass of milk. After he finished…